you’re not the flaw; you’re the author describing it.

Here’s a simple idea that can take a lot of pressure off your heart and your writing: separate the person from the problem.

In narrative therapy this is called externalizing. Instead of “I’m broken” or “I ruined things,” you treat the problem as a character that visits you—e.g., “the Cruel Judgment,” “the Catastrophizer,” “the Forever Voice.” You remain you; the problem becomes something you can observe, question, and negotiate with. That small shift keeps compassion with you while critique lands on the right target.

Why it helps

Shame drops: you’re not the flaw; you’re the author describing it. Choice returns: if it’s a character, it has patterns—you can anticipate and edit them. Memory softens: the past stops being a courtroom and becomes a scene you can re‑write with context.

A 10‑minute exercise (works for journaling and for your characters)

Name the problem as a character. Examples: The Cruel Judgment, Captain Never & Forever, The Lone Forecaster, The Filibuster of Doubt. Give it tells. How does it speak? When does it arrive? What does it want from you? Write a brief scene in third person, linear time. “He wakes. Captain Never & Forever leans against the doorframe, listing all the ways the day will fail…” Counter‑voice. Introduce a companion for your younger self—steady, specific, non‑dramatic. (“We’ll nap if needed. Let’s check one thing at a time.”) Negotiate one boundary. “You may warn me once, Captain. After that, I act.” Close with a factual line. One sentence anchored in the present (“It is 8:40 a.m.; coffee is warm; the list has three items.”)

For your themes

Catastrophizing (“never/forever”) → externalize as Captain Never & Forever. Let your adult narrator set terms. Child‑self reframed → keep him as the companion who cheers, not the judge. He’s on your side. “Separation of tasks” (Adler) → let the character carry what’s theirs; you carry what’s yours. No more picking up other people’s reactions.

A pocket script (use in the moment)

“I notice the Cruel Judgment arriving. Its line is ‘look what you did.’ My line is: Thanks for the alert; I’m choosing the next small action. Check one fact. Do one step. Record time and place.”

Separation of Tasks & Externalizing Worksheet

Here’s a one-page “Separation of Tasks & Externalizing Worksheet” you can print or paste at the top of your nightly pages—or adapt.

🪶 Separation of Tasks & Externalizing Worksheet

(For self-reflection or scene development)

1. Name the Problem Character

Give the recurring worry, judgment, or habit a name and title:

Example: Captain Never & Forever, The Cruel Judgment, The Lone Forecaster

2. Describe Its Behavior

When does it arrive?

What words or sensations announce it?

e.g. “Appears at night, whispers ‘You’ll never finish.’ Shoulders tighten.”

3. Identify Your Role

What is actually your task, and what belongs to someone or something else?

My task: write the next paragraph.

Not my task: manage how others will react to it.

4. Counter-Voice or Companion

Imagine a supportive presence—your younger self, a wise friend, a calm narrator.

What does this voice say?

“We’ll take a breath, then check one fact.”

5. Negotiate One Boundary

State the rule for this encounter.

“You may warn me once, Captain. After that, I act.”

6. Anchor in Fact

End with one verifiable line that grounds you in time and place.

“It’s 8:40 a.m.; coffee is warm; the list has three items.”

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WE&P by: EZorrillaMc.