“That belongs to you.”

Here’s a tiny, practical mental tool for when you feel responsible for someone else’s feelings: “That belongs to you.”

It comes from Adlerian psychology’s separation of tasks: you’re responsible for your choices; other adults are responsible for theirs (including their reactions). It’s not coldness—it’s clarity. When you stop carrying what isn’t yours, you have more energy to do what is yours: act with honesty, kindness, and follow-through.

How to use it (30‑second reset)

Notice the pull. Tight chest, urge to fix, mental “I made them upset.” Name the tasks. “My task: speak clearly / keep my boundary. Their task: how they feel and respond.” Repeat the mantra. “That belongs to you.” (Quietly in your head.) Act on your task. One concrete next step you control.

Quick scripts

Boundary: “I care about you, and I’m not available for that tonight.” (Their disappointment = their task.)

Criticism: “Thanks for the feedback. I’ll consider it.” (Their approval = their task.)

Guilt-hook: “I hear you’re upset. I’m still choosing X.” (Their reaction = their task.)

A 3‑line journal check (end of day)

What did I carry that wasn’t mine?

What was actually my task?

What single behavior tomorrow proves I’m carrying only mine?

If it feels harsh

Add warmth without taking ownership: “I see this is hard. I’m staying with my decision.” Compassion ≠ caretaking their emotions.

Micro‑practice for sticky moments

Breathe out longer than you breathe in (4 in, 6 out) twice.

Touch thumb to index finger and think: Mine.

Touch thumb to middle finger and think: Not mine.

Proceed.

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WE&P by: EZorrillaMc.